Does everything have to be my fault?
I mean, I will take the blame for many things: the hole in the ozone layer (any girl raised in the ‘80’s will have to share this blame with me – big hair and all!), my children’s fear of bugs (I’m sorry – they just creep me out), shoulder pads (you had to love the '80’s), and not sharing chocolate (some things just weren’t meant to be shared – even with your kids!)
But I draw the line at others. I’m sorry, but the fact that the weatherman predicted cold weather, and my daughter wore jeans, yet the temperature reached 70 degrees and “everyone had shorts on except her” is just not my fault.
And I refuse to take the blame for the fact that Katie was voted off of American Idol. (Hey, we voted for her every week, sweetheart – at a hefty price, I might add!)
Who knew that when the principal said no parents were allowed at the Halloween party, that didn’t mean the parents in my son’s class? (I can still see his little face staring at me accusingly!)
I understand it’s easier to blame Mom. Sometimes, I even encourage it. (“If you are ever at a party and someone wants you to do something you are uncomfortable with, tell them your Mom would kill you," I tell them. "You wouldn’t be lying.”)
But do I have to be at fault for everything that goes wrong in my children’s lives? Where is it written that Mom is the scapegoat for all her kid’s disappointments? Did I miss that chapter in the What to Expect …series?
“It’s all your fault.” If I had a dollar (or better yet, a piece of chocolate) for every time I heard those words, I would be one happy mom!
How was I to know the test was on chapters 1 and 2, not just 2 (as my daughter claimed!)? Shouldn’t that be her bad?
Who would have guessed that the “Beginners Swim” class in high school would be filled with kids afraid of water? (Hey, that was one class he aced!)
Here’s a warning to new Mom’s: be prepared. You will be blamed for everything from your daughter’s first pimple to the fact that cookies are no longer sold in the cafeteria.
I used to try and reason with them. “Explain to me why it is my fault that you left your homework at school?”
But all I ever got was that universal response: “Because it is.” Depending on the age of the person shouting these words at me, this was either followed by a stomp of a foot, or, my personal favorite, a roll of the eyes.
Ah well, I guess if we can say “Because I said so” to our children, they can respond with something equally as vague.
So I’ve learned to roll with it. “Yes dear," I say. "Of course it’s my fault that the power went out just when your favorite show was coming on.”
And then I pop a piece of chocolate in my mouth!