Thursday, February 10, 2011

Who is Craig, and how did he get his own list? (And other mindless questions that run through my head at inappropriate times.)

Who is Craig and why does he have his own list?

Why does my hair always look nice the day I am scheduled to get it cut?

Why do I close the door when using the bathroom, even though I’m alone in my house?

Why do my kids get sick when I have plans?

Why is my house dustier than any of my friends’ and neighbors’ houses?

What mom has her own “mom cave,” and how do I get one?

Are my children the only average children in the world?

Who really thinks low-rise jeans are comfortable?

Is it wrong to talk on the phone while using the bathroom?

Why do I say “No problem” when I mean “What, are you crazy?”?

Why do I have to look behind every shower curtain before I go to the bathroom? (And as a follow up, what would I do if someone was actually standing there?)

Am I the only person who doesn’t truly understand pi? And doesn’t care?

Who reads the 693-page manual that comes with the TI 84 plus calculator that my son was required to have in high school?

Who is the voice on my GPS? And how do I get that job?

How did Snooki get a book on the NY Times Bestseller List?

Where should I look while my dog is “doing her business” – at her, or away? (Before I scoop, of course!)

Am I the only mother who hates the question “What’s for dinner?”?

Why do I feel the need to explain to telemarketers why I cannot buy what they are selling?

And the biggest question of all…

Why can’t I win the lottery?

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