Monday, September 23, 2013
Calling All Women: Are You Up for the Challenge?
I was browsing Twitter the other day and came across the following tweet from HuffPostWomen: Dear women: stop doing these 23 things.
This caught my attention for two reasons: I don’t like to be told what to do (and not to do) and I love lists! I had to read further.
Written by Emma Gray, the article was entitled: 23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing I highly suggest you check it out when you get a chance.
Reading it over, I soon discovered that I was currently guilty of doing six of the 23 things on a consistent basis and, at some point in my life time, I have been guilty of all of them.
I won’t overwhelm you with all 23 transgressions but I will share with you my 6 deadly sins:
1. Apologizing all the time. Not only is this number one on this list but it is also number one on my list of things I have been trying to stop myself from doing. A few years ago, some of my friends decided to play tennis, something many of us hadn’t done in years. Our first rule: No apologizing for bad shots. Here’s how that went: “Oops, sorry.” “Oops, sorry about saying sorry.” We couldn’t get through the game without apologizing. If you watch NCIS, you may know Gibb’s Rule #6: Never apologize. While I hesitate to say never, I do say, be aware of this word – and use it sparingly!
2. Bodysnarking – out loud or in your own head. While I initially didn’t know the official definition of bodysnarking (rudely talking about a person’s body – thanks Urban Dictionary), the brief explanation of “stop putting your looks down” resonated with me. I was forever doing this until very recently. What stopped me? My daughters! I realized I didn’t want them to look at themselves as critically as I looked at myself. The old “practice what you preach” lesson rang in my head. It’s a hard habit to break, especially as we get older, but one I am determined to halt, for my daughters’ sake and my own.
3. Obsessively untagging every “unflattering” photo of you that ever existed online. I will take that one step further and say to stop ducking out of pictures in general. I am always the first to volunteer to take the picture so I don’t have to be in it. It was getting so bad that I worried my grandchildren would ask my children if they even had a mother growing up. This summer, I decided enough was enough. Now, I smile, look happy and hope for the best!
4. Holding on to regrets and GUILT (the caps are my addition). Having attended 16 years of Catholic schools, I can confidently say that the whole “Catholic guilt” thing is alive and well and living in my head. I need to get it out, NOW! How? Still working on it. I tend to obsess over remarks and comments that either I said to others, or were said to me, and pick apart every reflection and word. Anyone else have this problem? I do know it isn’t healthy, or productive, but knowing something and practicing it are two very different things.
5. Spending time with people out of obligation. Why do I feel the need to keep acquaintances, even if they’re toxic? I think I’m afraid to hurt their feelings. And I have some unrealistic desire to want everyone to like me. (And if you need further reason as to why I do this, see #4) I finally have decided that my time is precious, and if someone is going to bring me down, rather than lift me up, they aren’t worth it.
6. Being embarrassed about your interests. I’m a bit of a book nerd. I also love to watch In The Kitchen with David on QVC Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings (can you do the Happy Dance?) and I watch a few of the Real Housewives series. There, I said it. And it wasn’t so hard. (Okay, I am cringing a little and worrying about what you all will think of me, but hey, see #4 – I’m over it!) If someone is going to judge me or make fun of me, than I probably didn’t want them as a friend anyway! And I will keep repeating that to myself even if I get snarky comments.
As the article states, women “often drive ourselves insane striving for perfection in our experiences, relationships and selves.” I say enough is enough. HuffPost Women issued a challenge to all women to stop doing these things. I never back down from a challenge. Anyone care to join me?